Refusing sex manipulate

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Do this for us. For almost a year, my boyfriend articulated various forms of this request whenever he asked me to go outside of my sexual comfort zone within our relationship. He would ask me to have threesomes, attend sex parties, approve of him sleeping with other people — all things he claimed were meant to bring us closer together, or to improve our relationship.

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At a certain point, the questioning becomes hard to bear, and you have to ask yourself: Is your significant other guilt-tripping you into having sex? Unfortunately, this kind of behavior happens all the time, and it often gets brushed off as being no big deal. It can be verbal and emotional, in the form of statements that make you feel pressure, guilt, or shame.

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Photo by Cameron Whitman via Stocksy. The passive-aggressive practice of withholding sex is a classic technique employed in intimate relationships. The practice exists in myriad forms, ranging from sudden headaches that magically onset moments before sexual initiation occurs to emotional bribery in which men and women refuse to have sex in order to ensure their partner's commitment or submission.

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Emotional abuse is insidious: Not only does it take many forms, it can be difficult to recognize. According to Denise Renyea certified sexologist and psychologist, emotional abuse "may be delivered as yelling, putting a partner down, commenting on a partner's body, deliberately not respecting a partner's boundaries, and saying one thing while doing something else entirely. At first, abusers may seem like charismatic and charming people, waiting until they and their partner have hit a milestone such as moving in together before they show their true colors.

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Any act such as control, separation, humiliation or intimidation all can be considered abuse. Abuse can lead to emotional trauma with long-lasting effects on the victim. But how about sex?

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Verified by Psychology Today. Hope for Relationships. Not all relationships are formed on an equal footing.

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Withdrawing sex is often related to not wanting to feel controlled or dictated to. Paradoxically, the person who is sexually rejecting or closed is usually perceived by their mate as being very powerful and controlling. Being sexual with someone you love, care about and are committed to means that you are offering nurturance, TLC, affection and closeness.

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One of the benefits of being in a long-term relationship is that you have someone that you can readily depend on for regular sex. For guys especially, this is a very important part of a commitment to another person. However, it is precisely when you start to expect sex from your girlfriend that she starts using that presumption against you. Some women make a habit of withholding sex from their partners, while some only do it under very specific circumstances.

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Verified by Psychology Today. If you're in a long-term relationship, there will be other times. If any person is inexperienced in hearing no, he or she is just not putting themselves out there often enough.

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Withholding love or sex is psychological abuse and results from early trauma. Withholding is altogether different from not having sex or not reciprocating love. They might be traumatized. They might suffer from sexual dysfunction.

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